In Sumerian, a teenage girl before marriage was called "ki-sikil-tur," and in Akkadian, she was known as "bētultu," meaning "virgin" or "maiden." An adult girl was referred to as "ki-sikil."
The Sumerians used the term "namdam-ší" for marriage, and in Akkadian, it was "akāzu," meaning "to take." Although the Sumerians encouraged early marriage, it was not favored to marry very young girls.
Marriage procedures began with obtaining the consent of the girl's father and mother, especially when the groom was a youth, marked by the appearance of facial hair.
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| Marriage and Divorce in Ancient Sumerian Civilization |
In the later Sumerian period, the groom's father would swear an oath in the name of the king before priests and witnesses, saying, "May my son and rightful heir marry so-and-so, daughter of so-and-so." The ceremonies were conducted by a religious priest.
The approval of both parents was essential, followed by a verbal agreement and a feast. The woman would then become a lawful wife, with this formalized by the payment of the bride price and gifts, referred to as "nig-de-a" by the Sumerians.
These included foodstuffs such as grains, meat, butter, dates, and fruit, delivered to the bride’s house in dishes.
The formal marriage contract, known in Sumerian as "ka.kesda," was crucial and marriage could not proceed without it.
It was often written by the groom and kept by the bride to ensure the rights of any legitimate children, recorded on a small clay tablet.
A model of written contracts in Sumerian from the reign of King Samsu-iluna (1749–1712 BCE) indicates that the bride paid the bride price, which she could reclaim along with the dowry if divorced by her husband.
Conversely, if she initiated the divorce, she lost the bride price and had to pay the dowry to her husband.
There is an unconfirmed tradition from the time of Urukagina (24th century BCE) suggesting that women could marry more than one man simultaneously, but Urukagina prohibited this and mandated monogamy.
It appears that marriage was performed by a priest who poured oil on the heads of the bride and groom, who then paid a specified amount to the priest.
There were detailed rules regarding marriage to a deceased brother's widow, stepmothers, acquiring concubines, adoption, inheritance, and various forms of marriage including marriage by cohabitation, purchase, and unilateral marriage.
Divorce was known since the Early Dynastic period and involved the relinquishment of rights by either the husband or wife upon separation.
Urukagina’s reforms mentioned that before his time, a man wishing to divorce his wife had to pay five shekels of silver to the governor and one shekel to the chief minister, implying that the man needed the approval of authorities before divorcing.
A wife could divorce her husband in rare and specific cases, and divorce was called "tag" in Sumerian.
Sumerian laws did not prevent a husband from divorcing a wife who had children, but they placed certain conditions to balance his will with his responsibility to ensure the support of his ex-wife and children.
For example, a provision in the Law of Eshnunna stated that if a man divorced his wife after having children and took a second wife, he would be expelled from his home and sever all ties with his property.
On the other hand, divorce from a barren wife was relatively easy and acceptable.
A wife could divorce her husband if she could prove his misconduct and involvement in forbidden acts.
A Sumerian text illustrates this: after the husband had given the marriage gifts and performed the marriage rites (pouring oil), the wife filed a complaint with the city priests accusing her husband of engaging in homosexual acts.
After she proved to the judges that she had seen her husband with another man, the judges, on behalf of the king, shaved the husband’s head, pierced his nose, and paraded him in disgrace. The wife received her dowry from the husband’s possessions and left him.